Essay Revision Activity Instructions

This activity would be most effective if students first study the Annotated Examples included in this unit.

The assignment is differentiated for three different levels of students:

Level I: Struggling Writers
Level II: Nearly Proficient Writers
Level III: Advanced Writers

Students should work on the paragraph revision on their own. On the Level II and Level III versions, students can continue their revision on the backside of the paper if they need. When finished, they should be grouped with other students who worked on the same level. Encourage the students to share and discuss their answers with the group.

Level I: There are clear correct answers to this version. During the discussion period, students should talk about their answers (perhaps with guidance) and discuss WHY each underlined sentence was a problem and WHY the correct revision suggestion would be most effective.

1 – a
2 – b
3 – b
4 – c

Level II: In this version, there are specific problems students should catch, but how they revise the problems may differ. One possible effective revision would be the paragraph found in Level III of this activity. During the discussion period, students should make sure they all caught the problems in the paragraph. Then they should evaluate the effectiveness of different possible revisions.

Level III: In this version, students begin with a paragraph that is already effective. It has no problems, but it is very formulaic in its structure. During the discussion period, students should share their alternate versions of the paragraph. Some revisions may not have improved the paragraph at all. Students should be encouraged to discuss and evaluate the effectiveness of their attempts at making the paragraph more original.